I’ve been thinking for a while now that I wanted to make my website a bit of a different place but I haven’t quite had the confidence to do so. The past year travelling and moving to Australia, with my partner Robin, has been one of the best of my life, but alongside that brings so many other emotions. From the little snippets I have shared I’ve received many beautiful emails and messages from others feeling the same, relating so I wanted to be more open and honest on here. Those little squares on social media don’t always show the full story and Instagram is a platform where we choose what we share and we get the opportunity to curate what our lives look like. I’m often told how lucky I am and how amazing our life looks and don’t get me wrong, it has been the most incredible journey and I’ve been having the time of my life, but with that there’s also feelings of displacement, loneliness, confusion and anxiety of what’s next.
Traveling and/or living away from your home country is exciting and terrifying all at the same time. Leaving the life we had created in London and all of our friends and family wasn’t an easy decision. Traveling was the simple part, everyday something new and something exciting but not much time alone to let any feelings creep through. We had no real plan on where we would end up in Australia, we had thought the obvious - Sydney, having the option to work in a city and live by the beach but the more we traveled the more we became dis-attached to living a city life again. Seeking some clarity, and as you do whilst in Bali, we went to see Shriman, an Indian Vedic Astrologer living in the Ubud jungle (whom I would really recommend, even if you are the slightest bit curious). He told us we will be stronger and best living somewhere in the South East of the world, in a place beginning with B or M. So as crazy as it sounds, we went with it and ended up living in a little town called Mullumbimby outside of Byron Bay.
When we reached Australia I started to become aware that my next challenge would be to create something here but I really didn’t feel ready. For the first few months I hid away, I spent a lot of time alone. Out little rented studio overlooked hills and fields, it felt like a little safe cocoon to spend days practising yoga, meditating and writing my inner most thoughts. At first I felt so frustrated with myself, I wanted to get out to meet and collaborate with all the incredible creatives that call this special part of the world home,but I just couldn't do it. Now I see how I really needed those days spent internalising and healing my past wounds.
During this time I was lucky enough to meet two of the most caring and supportive women who I’m lucky to call my friends. They really helped me shift the focus away from the fear and self pity I was projecting onto myself and on to something better. When I worked in the fashion industry so much was expected of me, I would work sixteen hour days in a room with no windows or on a plane or train with minimal sleep, days or even weeks on end and we just had to pretend everything was always ok. Always told how lucky we were and a million other people would die for your job. But I realised that we don’t have to pretend that everything is ok, we don’t have to make others believe that our lives are all excitement and adventure. Finding the voice to admit to myself I wasn’t happy was a real breakthrough. So whatever path life may take you down this applies to each and every one of us. We are all human, we have hard times and the best times and there's no shame in that.
So the last few months have been spend swimming in waterfalls, reconnecting with nature but sadly due to being English and visa issues (we can only work in one place for 6 months at a time) we've now left the Northern Rivers for a new adventure, driving down along the east coast stopping at the little surf towns, to the Blue Mountains and Sydney a little trip to New Zealand to drive the South Island then now were back to Australia to settle for a while again in Melbourne.
The ebbs and flows of life are so powerful. Sometimes we must empty before we can take in more. Sometimes we are too full and need to release and cleanse to receive something new and better, its so hard to remember this in times of darkness but so important to trust in the process and the magic happens. So from now on I hope to write once a fortnight and honestly share the highs and lows of everyday life whilst living away from home, and all the other things I love. I also got a new camera and couldn't be more excited about it. I have so many photos to share from our recent trips!
I love to hear more from you, and meet like-minded people, if anyone has any special Melbourne tips I would love to hear from you.
Have a beautiful day.